THIS IS MY 100th POST ON THIS BLOG, AND I AM DEDICATING IT TO GRADY. NOT BECAUSE I LIKE HIM, OR BECAUSE IM STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM OR WHATEVER CONCLUSIONS LOSER PEOPLE LIKE TO DRAW, BUT BECAUSE WE CAN BE FRIENDS, REAL FRIENDS. AND FOR ONCE I ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS. BOOOOYAR.

SO HERE YOU GO GRADES.

THIS ONE IS FOR YOU.

Today was a good day.
A weirdly good day considering.
WANNA KNOW ABOUT MY DAY? YEAHOKAY
Wellllllll, approx.
Mindnight: talking to G-rade
1:00 am: Phonezies to Stuart
2:00 am: Phonezies to Stuart
3:00 am: Started English assignment.
4:00 am: still English
4:45 am: Shower
5:15 am: Blow dry hair (LOL)
5:30 am: Get all school shit ready. ie uniform, laptop etc.
5:45 am: In bed, ready for sleeping.
6:45 am: Wake up for school.
7:30 am: On the bus
8:00 am: On the train
8:15 am: Arrive at Glenfield station
8:20 am: In the post office with Pearson.
8:30 am: At school, talking to Heidi.
8:40 am: Roll call with Trotter
9:00 am: Science skills test (HAHAH, so fail)
Period 2: Commerce with Cohen, Nibraas and Rohan looking up dirty things on the internet LOL
Recess: with G-rade. WEIRD moment with GS+RS.
Period 3: English with Keegs. (Simon Wang makes me LOL)
Period 4: Sport science. (Heidi makes me LOL, :P)
Lunch: With Grady, he ate my sandwhich, and stole my delicious muffin. HMPH
Period 5: Science. I flashed Mr. Trotter by accident. I made him blush. HAHAHAHAHAHHALOL
Period 6: Maths. Drawed checkers. Stayed on 10N chat with 10N peeps. 
3:00 pm: At the station. Ran in to Jesse and his Boyf Jayden.
4:00 pm: Homezies. Sleepzies.
5:00 pm: Sleepzies.
6:00 pm: Sleepzies
7:00 pm: Dinner
8:00 pm: Phone to Gatorade.
9:00 pm: WRITING THIS.


OMG YOU TOTALLY KNOW EXACTLY HOW MY DAY WENT. HOW EXCITING. LOL.


ps. i made my 100th post especially interesting for you gatorade. :)
xx

Me

LOL

no way

i liked it

10:34pmStuart

hahaah

i like you :)

LOL. He's so smooth.

WHORE IT UP LOVERS

YKNOW,  people say there is two ways to think of things.

NUMBER ONE:

You loved him. You still love him. & you think you KNOW, that one day, hopefully soon, he will come back to you. You've never been as happy as you were with him and you'd do pretty much anything to get it all back. He was your bestfriend, completely and utterly and you will never be able to let that go. You will never get over him, because life just isn't the same.

OR

NUMBER TWO:

He's just a boy. A lame highschool boy. You will meet/have already met hundreds more people like him and better and it is so easy to just think, damn, I don't know why I was so hung up on that Grady kid. Sure, you still like him, but thats only because you 'lost'. If you were the one that had ended things we all know it would have been a different story. So what if you spent almost six months with him. He let you go when he claimed to be in lurveeee, do the same. And lets be honest, you like a lot of boys right now; take his lead; embrace your inner whore. Everyone knows you want to. "You have choices TorTor. PICK ONE. Or two. Or how ever many you like. LOL"

Well, I want a third. I'm making a third. I HAVE A THIRD CODAMNITT!

TORI'S NUMBER THREE:

I loved him. I still love him. But my loving of him gets less and less every day, so I will not always love him. For a while getting back together was the only option in my brain. But now, OH BOY have things changed. I actually have crushes. People that I want, and can see myself doing dirty things with AHAH ;) People that like me, and show it. People that treat me like I'm actually worth something. Like how Grady used to, before he started taking everything for granted. It was all a game. It is still a game. & I don't lose games. Never, ever. 

Everyone has told me it will come to a point where he will regret the fuck out of his decision to throw our whole relationship away for some cheap whorey hookup, and yeah I do believe this on some level or another. And if/when he does, I like to think that i'll say no and tell him to stick it up his butthole; and maybe I will. But if I dont, at least I know with myself, that he will never mean anything more to me that what I let him.  I am finally ready to be his friend, and it just occured to me that, I DON'T WANT TO BE. LOL. Because, I am a super awesome friend, and he doesn't deserve me. Not even a little bit of me. Lol@me. Life'sGood.

SCREAMAIMFIRE

I didn't go to school today because I don't feel the need to spend all of sport with Grady. It would be awkward and I wouldn't be comfortable. Also because I'm so tried my eyeballs hate the rest of my body. I pulled the rest of his crap together last night. All the stuff that has no meaning to me anymore. Part of me moving on. So, I'm sorry Dolph, I can't keep you. Because as much as I love you, I don't like what you signify. 

"They're not together..I can see why you would think that, but I don't feel like I'm in the wrong and I'm not going to explain on fs but no I don't think I'm doing the wrong thing"

Lol @ people believing what they want to believe to help them sleep at night.

ANYWAY.

STUART, you are amazing and I'm sorry i've sucked on the fun scale the past couple of days. Soon will be good, I promise :)

Thomas, thankyou my dear :)

Corey, I'm sorry about last night. You know I dont feel that way. Please don't put that on me. You are the coolest kid that will always be better at hockey then me.. with last night as an exception. I KILLED YOU. :P

Travis, be nicer to Mikayla. She's pretty and you will be cute. Also, don't ever say such vulgar things to me again :P haha.

Rohan, hehehehehehehhehehehe.

IT TAKES TIME.

I'm finally ready to move on. 

I'll get there soon enough, and i'll be a better person for it.

You'll regret this more than anything someday.

Maybe not someday soon, while youre still getting your whore-fix.

But someday in the future. 

A day where I will be able to say no, and mean it. 

And you will wonder what the fuck you were thinking.

And when that day comes, I will be happier than I ever was with you.

Because in my head you mean nothing.

I just wish my heart would agree.

"Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance, 

Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'll never, ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
Said ooh, she fell in love "

Grady is gay.

I am happy. For the first time in a long time.

It is 4 am and I just finished cleaning my room. I really wanna message you because I know you're the only one who will understand this acomplishment, but i'm not going to. I'm trying not to need you. I really am. And I honestly am getting somewhere. Snaps for me. **

Lunchskies tomorrow. Kinda nervous. Kind of a gamble on how this is going to turn out. I guess we'll see. I'll update the shit out of that later hey.

I haven't cried in more than two days. This is definately an improvement. Considering i'm pretty sure the reason I stopped was because my tear ducts were like, fuck you and went on strike.

I picked out a whole bunch of pretty underpanties and braskies today. They I put them back because I don't have anyone to impress. I bought vodka instead. Awesome, I know.

Pa's 80th was hilarious. My life goal is to be as happy as him and Nanny when I am their age. They are some seriously inspirational shit. Also, they said I could have some friends up there in the holidolies. I don't know who i'd pick now. I had it all planned out before. I guess I just didn't plan on being single. This changes everything ! Haha.

Stuart broke his nose and made the Australian U16 Hockey Team. Oh my oath. Boo about the nose tho. He flies back tomorrow. I will see him on friday. I miss him. 

I miss alot of people actually, that I never even realised I don't talk to anymore. I guess there are a shitload of positives to this whole motherlickin gay situation. 

I love Jordo and I will murder anyone who decides to hurt him in any way, shape or form.

Fam bam is the shit.

Owen Bunt is a fricken nutcase I tells you.

Travis and Corey is little slurries. Cute little slurries. 

I miss love. I miss Grady. I miss happy.

i dont want a serious relationship: im a teenager. i want someone who i can act like a complete dickhead around, that we can spend hours just talking about the most pointless things with that'll never happen. because im sick of seeing these movies with the girl falling in love with the perfect boy. who wants perfect? i want adventure. i want someone i can tell my secrets to and waste my weekend with and act like we're 5 years old again. i wanna have fun. i wanna play the aeroplane game.

I dont understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your bestfriend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your bestfriend. How forever turns into a few short months that you'd do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something, that you once said you couldn't live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it hurts just the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it is easier than working things out.

 

I don't understand how this all happened. How things can be so perfect one second and not even exist the next. How people you think will never let you down never fail to do exactly that. How people claim they love someone but at the same time find it so easy to move on. How I can love and hate someone at the exact same moment. It just doesn't make sense. Not to me anyway.

I want to move on. I need to move on. And you're making it pretty easy. Well, as easy it is going to be. So thankyou for that at least. One day i'll be able to tilt the screen back, and not be lying. That will be a good day :)

I'm sick and tired of the mess you made me.

IMBORING, iknow.

You love hoodies. 
You love jeans. 
Dogs are better than cats.
It’s hilarious when people get hurt.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own a car racing game. 
You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You have watched sports on TV. 
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You used to collect hockey cards.
Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors of all.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun. 
You talk with food in your mouth. 
You sleep with your socks on at night.
You have fished at least once.

—-YOUR GIRL SIDE—- 
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner. 
You go to your mom to talk. 
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You wear the color pink.
You like going to the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures . 
You like wearing jewelry.
You cried watching The Notebook.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don’t like the movie Star Wars.
You are/were in gymnastics.
It takes you at least one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. 
You smile a lot more than you should.
You care about what you look like. 
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing high heel shoes.
You used to play with dolls as little kid.
You like putting make-up on others.
You like being the star of everything.
Pink is one of your favorite colors.
• Appearance • 
I am shorter than 5. 5''
I have many scars.
I tan/burn easily
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. 
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance. 
I’ve had/have braces.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. 
I have more than two piercings.
I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.
• Embarrassment •  
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation. Disney movies still make me cry. 
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
• Health •
I’ve gotten stitches. 
I’ve had my appendix removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend. 
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I’ve had serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
• Experiences •
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve wished on a shooting star. 
I’ve seen a meteor shower. 
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator. 
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been skydiving.
I've been to a casino
I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed/rolled a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a musical.
I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a rooftop at night. 
I’ve played a prank on someone. 
I’ve ridden in a taxi. 
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. 
I’ve eaten Sushi. 
I’ve been snowboarding.
• Relationships •
I’m in a relationship. 
I'm single.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I miss someone right now.
I’ve gotten divorced. 
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
• Honesty / Crime •
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t. 
I’ve snuck out.
I’ve lied to my parents about where I am. 
I’ve cheated while playing a game. 
I’ve ran a red light.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
• Death and Suicide •
I’m afraid of dying. 
I hate funerals. 
I’ve seen someone/something dying. 
Someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
You have planned your own suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
• Materialism •
I own over 5 rap CD’s. 
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime / manga.
I own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something from Abercrombie

I own something I got on E-Bay. 
• Random • 
Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I can sing well.
Open up to others easily. 
I watch the news. 
I don’t kill bugs. 
I sing in the shower. 
I paid for my cell phone ring tone. 
I am a morning person.
I am a sports fanatic. 
I twirl my hair.
I care about grammar. 
I have “?”’s in my screen name.
I love spam. 
I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day. 
I bake well. 
I would wear pajamas to school.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple or orange.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes. 
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I eat fast food weekly.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish. 
I like white chocolate.
I bite my nails. 
I’m good at remembering faces. 
I’m good at remembering names.  
I’m good at remembering dates.